A 23yr Old’s Guide to Anger Management!

Anger Management | Human Psychology |Emotional Stability | Cultivate Better Relationship

I have been terrible with people all my life!

I never had friends for longer, and I never tried to maintain some. I am too good with moving on & too good with being emotionally detached from people.

I do not care much for anyone unless they fall into the top 5 of my life. [The Top 5 that never changed since the beginning]

So I am here today to actually interpret my understanding of what went wrong and why it is difficult, and how you can change your perspective to become the kind of person I envision myself to be.

A person who is still selective with her circle but makes a good relationship with that circle!

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Upbringing plays a major role in our behavior!

But do you think that’s the only thing that matters?

If you are reading this today, I aim to make you realize — Not every time things need to be in your favor & not every time you need to react to a situation.

Source: Life.

Life had given me the best in everything. And the best thing it ever gave me is — My Dad!

My Dad often tells me, “I lost a lot due to anger issues & short temperedness. Do not be one” Because I am terrible at anger management.

My ideologies revolve around, “This is not how I am supposed to be treated. I deserve better. Just because someone else is in a bad mood, doesn’t mean they can take it out on me. I will not settle for less than what I deserve.”

And I am right.

But what I did wrong was — I put myself within just my own boundaries and failed to realize things from a broader perspective.

Still, I do not say I was wrong. But what matters is — “Is the other person actually getting what is right and what is wrong?”

I yell at a point and come back with the satisfaction that I have stood up for myself. But does the other person actually understand what just happened? What if the gesture with which I have conveyed represents a wrong meaning? It actually did that.

I Love my Dad a lot. But after 23 years, my Dad still believes I do not have any concern for him. Is it his mistake? No! Is it my mistake? No! So what’s wrong if both of us are not wrong?

Efforts! Yes! I never made an effort actually to tell him I Love him.

And the times I said, it didn’t create an impact. Here is where perspective and perceptual shift come in.

India, as we know, is a country where people are ingrained with thoughts that are sometimes never ripe.

You believe something and never change your perspective even if its proved wrong. Why? Because you grew up with those thoughts. And you never come out of it.

For example, “This is how a Man should be. This is how a lady should be.” These are thoughts that are grown in society. We often remark as a society, forgetting — society is an amalgamation of people like you and me!

Every time you say, “A Girl shouldn’t talk back, I say — Every human being should stand up for themselves!”

Here is where the perspective difference [the one we discussed previously] comes into the picture.

My ‘Standing up’ becomes your ‘Talking Back’

So does it actually make a point to “Stand Up” when you do not understand what “Standing Up” actually is?

So if you would ask me what my takeaways are- It's these.

1. Know your worth. But also know where you should showcase what.
2. If you actually have something to be taken away at the end, stand for it. Else, there is no point in it.
3. If the person and relationship are more important to you than proving your point — Choose a time you are less angry.
4. Maturity is not in proving yourself right. It's being okay with being misunderstood when nothing makes a real difference.
5. More than everything — Start Living, life has a lot to offer, most of which you aren’t exploring